#46 TURNING POINT OF MY LIFE

pict by pinterest 

When I was 17th years old, that's the sign from the universe my teenager era gonna end and start to facing adulting era. That's a lot of thing around me so confusing especially the decisions to take my university life and at that point I really really believe if I can accepted as a medical student at international undergraduate program, Gadjah Mada University. Time by time, is not easy as it was. I faced a lot of rejected in so many campus. At that time, I'm so disappointed blaming my self and of course I give up with that damn shit. 

Chapter 1 The Decision to Study Political Science and Public Policy

Spending, a year with depression I applied to University of Muhammadiyah Malang in Agro-technology (That's my dad suggestion). In life, the best thing should we do just acceptance and never give up. In the midst of disappointment, I open my laptop and trying to search another option if I have opportunity to move to another campus with the program that I really want. I remember, I still awake until morning just for looking up about another campus that I possible to apply. And I was found Public Administration in Brawijaya University which is my campus right now. 

Simple reason why public administration? Actually spending a year with so many life lesson made me know that my talent not just focusing on exact things,  but also social things. I'm trying to convincing myself that I have other talents that can be well developed, namely high social skills. Since I was senior high school I quite interest about government, political science and finance (that's mean I also have a talent in other things). Sometimes, we need to know our self first before we decide something. A year before, I'm very persistent and felt that my passion was only in science subjects, burying other interests such as politics, finance, and government. I ignored that by really focusing on exact subjects. Perhaps, from that turning point I realized that in life it is good to know yourself more deeply before really judging who you really are. 

Besides my responsibility to study at Agro tech, I arrange schedule to prepare facing test to apply in other campus with public administration program. That's my hardest time of my life. My sleep schedule was broken, I didn't eat well, everything messed up. But, I always believe, with this all struggle Allah always gave me his help. I remember, 2 weeks before the testing day, I got nosebleeds. That made me so shock actually, because it's quite rare I got nosebleeds. I guess its happened because I push my self too much for prepare the test and my body trying to reminds me if is it too much to do. 

The long and tiring journey paid off when I received the admission information that I was actually accepted to the campus I wanted with the major I wanted. At that moment, there was nothing else that made me happier than that acceptance. Tears continued to flow, but this time they were tears of joy. The first person I let to know it was my mom, I'm not sure at the moment, my mom just already back from nowhere and I'm sitting on dining area with crying and my laptop was opened. When my mom come in and find me crying she was shock because she think I have rejected for my application. Quickly, I explain to her and we crying together. We cry with a lot of joy and happiness.  

Chapter 2 Embracing Blogging as a Passion

I accepted at Brawijaya University, public administration science when we suddenly facing covid-19. A year spending my college era by online. This situation just kill me slowly because we really restricted to do something outside. in the middle of chaotic I trying to find new hobbies because at that time so stressful for me without any activity. Basically, in my senior high school I joined school magazine club and start from that I realize when I feel better after writing. 

First, I just write and save it into my laptop because sometimes I'm not confident enough to share it to others. I don't care if there's no readers for what I write, but after several times, I found blog and trying to pour all of my idea in that media. That's my way to found this blog. Now, I have more than 30 post on my blog, which is that good. For me, writing is kinda like healing my self. anything what I feel, I can write down on there without any judgement from everyone. 

Writing blog can help me to release what inside my heart and my mind. As an introvert person, it's quite hard for me to telling about in my mind or in my heart. Now, anything what I felt I can easier to share to this blog. The things that made me happy also the response from my readers. they give me a lot of support and I really appreciated it.