#43 BROAD AWAY AND I STILL LOOKING AT YOU

 

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I already lost my words every single second while every memories about you shown up. The bad news was memory about you what already create together with me its just killing me slowly. 

If I have so much word to explained, I actually lost everything. I know it's not my fault or yours but in the deepest of my heart I always blame my self why I fall into you. In the million people on world why should be you the person that make me happy and sad at the same time. a million day after we met, I've ever say thank to god to make me met you. On this attempt, I will make my sad story letter, that I hope you've never been read. 

The day we met at front of Subaidah (the one of our canteen at dorm), you used white t shirt and short pants, looks casual and of course you look so stunning. Meanwhile, I just use my bare minimum clothes. and actually I really disappointed about that, xoxoxo.  Before we met, I really excited when you text me and letting me know that you already came. I'm so excited at that time. I actually confuse about my type. when I was teenager, my type kinda like Calum Scott if you know who is he, one of my favorite band from Australia. The hot man, higher than me let say I like a big boy.  in the middle of ocean if the teenager wave, I really like big guy. Have a muscles, tinted skin and yeah that's kind of my type when I was teenager. When I'm getting older, I realized that love become love sick as horrible as focusing on body size. Getting older actually taught me to seeing love from the deepest heart not just about physic. 

Start from this point, I found you. The person who completely different with my type before. He's is not a big boy, he just kind of looks like me. One thing there is still into my bucket list is I like smart guy. The man who has charisma, when I saw him I directly fall into him. I often write the story about him since we got a lot of interaction in Malaysia while we have a program of student exchange. Now, the story its become memories. There's a lot of fact that I should to keep in and no one know. 

Sometimes close with you its like a bad dream that I can't to get up. I save everything about you in the deepest of my heart. when I saw sun setting in the west side slowly its kinda like I drawn into the deepest of your eyes. 

The best and also worst part to knowing you was I do all the right things with the wrong people. Now, I feel you and me being so broad away but my eyes just lock on you.